It finally hit home today! I'm retired.
For an educator, summer is summer. For a returning educator, summer is a break and the shit starts all over on Friday. For a retired educator...oh wow, I don't ever have to do it again! Never!!
It took the summer for me to realize I had really done it. It was over. Finally. And completely. Over!! I knew when I walked out the last day last spring I would never go back, but I had no idea how good it was going to feel this fall. Over. Finally. Completely. Over!!
I've lined up a gig with the college. A very nice gig at that. Two days... noon to 4:00p.m. I've already mentioned I'm excited about it....and I am. This gig promises no bullshit, no games, no hassle! And I'm going to have fun with it. And you know what, if my employer doesn't like me having fun with it....then, ah, well "Fuck them!" I probably shouldn't say that....but I can. I Idid. I will. And I have. And I will again! (That might fall under the liberating thing)
I had a good friend some years ago who had this same after-retirement job. At that time, after she'd done some 30 years in public education, I questioned what the hell she was doing and why the hell she would do it. She laughed at me and told me it was the best of all worlds. My friend is now gone and I have the j0b, and I'll follow her lead the best way I can.
And I'll have fun doing it!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Fluffy Pants Fart
Hot damn and hoooooray!
I had four men today!
I feel like the Whore of Babylon! Move over, Heidi Fleiss, there's a new girl on the block!!
And to top that off, I traveled over to Novinger--a small podunk with a cute little saloon--to have a burger and beer and damned if I didn't run into the Kirksville Superintendent of Schools, also having a burger and several beers. Don't think that man didn't run for the hills when he saw me in that bar. Damn, I still haven't stopped laughing!!
Some days the slots just keep giving you gravy.
I had four men today!
I feel like the Whore of Babylon! Move over, Heidi Fleiss, there's a new girl on the block!!
And to top that off, I traveled over to Novinger--a small podunk with a cute little saloon--to have a burger and beer and damned if I didn't run into the Kirksville Superintendent of Schools, also having a burger and several beers. Don't think that man didn't run for the hills when he saw me in that bar. Damn, I still haven't stopped laughing!!
Some days the slots just keep giving you gravy.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Flapping Flutter Fart
Hot damn! I was wrong!!!
I don’t usually get excited when I’m wrong, but I was damned near delirious today when I realized this wasn’t my first day back at work. Fer crine out loud, I don’t really go back to work until August 20th. Today was just a new student/freshman play day. Oh yeah, and free food. Free food is always a good time.
Whew.
I’m not done playing yet, and it's great to have a last minute summer reprieve.
I don’t usually get excited when I’m wrong, but I was damned near delirious today when I realized this wasn’t my first day back at work. Fer crine out loud, I don’t really go back to work until August 20th. Today was just a new student/freshman play day. Oh yeah, and free food. Free food is always a good time.
Whew.
I’m not done playing yet, and it's great to have a last minute summer reprieve.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The He-Man Fart
I need a man.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had a man, and I’m getting desperate.
Some folks would have you believe I’m a little demanding, a lot egotistical and most times slam damn ornery. Maybe that’s why I can’t find a man. Never mind all that, when it comes to a man, I'm not all that scrupulous. But, there are some attributes I am looking for in my man.
He needs to be agile—able to climb up on things without breaking something or making a mucky mess. And, fer crine out loud, if he falls off after he’s crawled on, I don’t want any whining or complaints, and I’m sure as hell not going to be held responsible for his inability to perform.
He also needs to have strength and endurance. I want him doing his thing until he’s done; fatigue interruptus is a turn off. In the past, too many men have made half-assed promises and then petered out before the deed is done.
I am not interested in a multi-tasking man. Those dudes think they can service three or four of us at the same time. Never fails, they begin to do what I ask of them and the next damn thing I know they’re off doing someone else. It could be days--even weeks--before they get back to me to finish what we started. Usually, by the time the guy gets back here, I’ve forgotten what the hell we were doing!
High maintenance is low on my man priority list. In fact, I like my men cheap and willing to get down and get dirty. It’s for damn sure I’m not paying much.
My need for a man has led me to take drastic measures. I’ve not only put it out word of mouth (to both friends and strangers) and checked community bulletin boards in local stores, I’m now listening to the local radio buying-and-selling program, Party Line, to see if a man is available.
No luck—I’m still without a man.
No one wants to do handyman work anymore, and the jobs around here are piling up! Gutters need to be cleaned, the embankment in front of my house down by the road needs heavy duty mowing and gravel needs to be spread more evenly in the driveway.
A good man is damned hard to find!
It’s been a long time since I’ve had a man, and I’m getting desperate.
Some folks would have you believe I’m a little demanding, a lot egotistical and most times slam damn ornery. Maybe that’s why I can’t find a man. Never mind all that, when it comes to a man, I'm not all that scrupulous. But, there are some attributes I am looking for in my man.
He needs to be agile—able to climb up on things without breaking something or making a mucky mess. And, fer crine out loud, if he falls off after he’s crawled on, I don’t want any whining or complaints, and I’m sure as hell not going to be held responsible for his inability to perform.
He also needs to have strength and endurance. I want him doing his thing until he’s done; fatigue interruptus is a turn off. In the past, too many men have made half-assed promises and then petered out before the deed is done.
I am not interested in a multi-tasking man. Those dudes think they can service three or four of us at the same time. Never fails, they begin to do what I ask of them and the next damn thing I know they’re off doing someone else. It could be days--even weeks--before they get back to me to finish what we started. Usually, by the time the guy gets back here, I’ve forgotten what the hell we were doing!
High maintenance is low on my man priority list. In fact, I like my men cheap and willing to get down and get dirty. It’s for damn sure I’m not paying much.
My need for a man has led me to take drastic measures. I’ve not only put it out word of mouth (to both friends and strangers) and checked community bulletin boards in local stores, I’m now listening to the local radio buying-and-selling program, Party Line, to see if a man is available.
No luck—I’m still without a man.
No one wants to do handyman work anymore, and the jobs around here are piling up! Gutters need to be cleaned, the embankment in front of my house down by the road needs heavy duty mowing and gravel needs to be spread more evenly in the driveway.
A good man is damned hard to find!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Prelude to a Poopie
The Brew Crew has been drydocked!
Rains have consumed most of our summer, and on July 24th we had a 12-inch toad strangler. Then came the flooding in rivers and lakes in northern Missouri. Our lake--at record flood level--was out of its banks; water rose over the gas docks and up onto the parking lots. The docks held, but there was no way to get to the boats for almost 36 hours. The usually clear water was more a chocolate milk shake and littered with debris.
Although most of the dangerous logs, tires and other junk has been hauled out of the lake, we got word yesterday the e-coli levels are extremely high from all the rains and run off. The beaches are closed, boaters are advised to stay out of the water and the Brew Crew is literally a google-eyed fish outta water.
We have no idea when the Department of Natural Resources will let us back in our playground. We're a hang dog bunch these days, looking for other ways to entertain ourselves. This old fart is damned tired of fiddling in the yard instead of tinkering with water floaties, cruising through cookbooks instead of the water or cleaning house instead of drinking cold beer on the boat!
Rains have consumed most of our summer, and on July 24th we had a 12-inch toad strangler. Then came the flooding in rivers and lakes in northern Missouri. Our lake--at record flood level--was out of its banks; water rose over the gas docks and up onto the parking lots. The docks held, but there was no way to get to the boats for almost 36 hours. The usually clear water was more a chocolate milk shake and littered with debris.
Although most of the dangerous logs, tires and other junk has been hauled out of the lake, we got word yesterday the e-coli levels are extremely high from all the rains and run off. The beaches are closed, boaters are advised to stay out of the water and the Brew Crew is literally a google-eyed fish outta water.
We have no idea when the Department of Natural Resources will let us back in our playground. We're a hang dog bunch these days, looking for other ways to entertain ourselves. This old fart is damned tired of fiddling in the yard instead of tinkering with water floaties, cruising through cookbooks instead of the water or cleaning house instead of drinking cold beer on the boat!
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